Sunday, October 13, 2013

Ages 6-7 Weeks!

6 Weeks Old:

 Doing homework while she snoozes. She is such a good sport. I love my days off when i can hang out with her, and we do homework and play all day. She is my medicine. Due to my grade 3 cut and just pain and hormonal changes after birth, I was feeling rather depressed. The baby blues are definitely a real thing. I was so sore that standing for any amount beyond a few minutes was painful, sitting was painful, and I cried at absolutely everything. I can remember Greg helping me to get into the shower right before we went home. It was the first time I had seen my body after. It was embarrassing to have somebody in there with me, even Greg. I started to cry, my body looked deformed to me. I cried about the demands I felt to get the information concerning the delivery out to what is many people! I appreciated and knew that people wanted details about all of it, I felt like I was drowning just trying to feed my baby, take care of my baby, and try and get enough sleep. So, I felt bad, and I cried. I cried...about everything basically. I felt like I couldn't take care of myself because of pain, sleep deprivation, and just my unbalanced mood in general. I felt like I was on the edge of a meltdown almost continually and the fatigued seemed be a heavy weight that I couldn't see any end to. My medicine was Tess, when I would hold her, it eliminated my baby blues and I felt so much better. All I had to do was hold her and I believe her spirit lifted mine. I look back now, it's interesting to experience what so many women mention but don't dwell on. It's only worth that, because it passes so quickly, family gets you through it, and you feel like yourself again. But, I thought it was note worthy to remember how she made me feel so uplifted and strengthened by herself. While she made me feel better as I held her, my mom and Greg really stepped up and took care of other things so I wouldn't have to worry about it. It also helped to hear from my sister-in-law, Carolyn. She called and got right to the point almost, told me how her experience was, and then told me I was normal! I think the worst part about having all those extreme hormonal changes is, you feel like something is wrong with you. And there isn't! I started to cry, of course, when she called. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

 I can't stop staring at her, I can't wait to see her again, and I feel as if this little girl I saw in my dream is fulfilling that dream over and over. She has made us so very happy! We can't imagine life without her and will do our best to be the kind of parents she deserves. I also felt during this time, the heavy weight of the responsibility to be an example and teacher to this wonderful little soul. I wanted to be the best I could be but felt overwhelmed. Greg has continually reminded me that I need to rely on the Lord. I know He cares about my role as a mother, I have felt a greater closeness to Him and greater strength from Him as I seek His help to be the kind of mom I need to be. She is too important for me to try and do this on my own strength. Greg gave both Tess and I a blessing on 8/24. I wish I had written down what he said, now I can't remember. I know he blessed Tess with protection and health. He blessed me to find strength from studying the scriptures daily. I have noticed, no matter that each minute of the day is occupied with things to do, if I take the time to do this, I am able to do all that I need to. 

 Her first package addressed to her. From great aunt Sandy! BOOKS! We love books, thanks Aunt Sandy. 

 One of our favorite things. I started to go on walks! Considering it hurt to even stand longer then 10 minutes or so, starting to walk was a big deal. 

 Loving her swing.
The many faces of Tess. 

 She LOVES going on walks. It is one of her favorite things. She loves to look around, kick, and sleep. It's fun to watch her too.

She is little miss smiley! I am writing this on the day she has turned 12 weeks old. Two weeks ago she giggled like crazy at a buzzing sound I made and she giggled several times. She teased us though! We haven't been able to get her to laugh again. I have heard her laugh three times in her sleep, but that is it! It was just adorable,  I can't wait to hear it again. We heard the beginnings of a laugh on 9/24 and the full giggles on 10/2.
Tess started to make lots of noises right around 9/20, or 2 months old. She loves to "talk." Her and I go back and forth for a while. Like we are talking! I love this and could do this as long as she is willing! This occurs everyday now.
She loves to suck on her fist. on 10/12, 11 weeks and 6 days old, she stuck her fist so far in her mouth that she gagged. So funny.
She started to really smile a ton and coo on 9/15. Her social smile started to emerge on 8/19. She plays with her hair sometimes. On my birthday, when I was changing her in the morning and she gave me the best present of all...smiles!
On 8/30, she slept for FIVE hours in a row. It was great, but I kept waking up to see if she was okay. I couldn't believe it! She went back and forth, every now and then for about two weeks sleeping the first leg of the night more then 2 hours. Now, for about a month now, she has been sleeping for 4-5 hours the first leg and then wakes up every 2 hours after that. She will sometimes sleep almost 3 hours.
On 9/17, I caught her trying to roll over. She still hasn't but getting stronger and stronger all the time!
Her little face tells all! She has a big lip, showing that she is about to cry and her frown reaches her jaw line practically! She does this each time she is about to get upset and cry. She is also startled a lot easier now as she is more and more aware of her surroundings. I can't talk to her while she is eating and if I talk suddenly she will startle and start crying.
When she gets really upset and she has to be in her car seat a little longer, she foams at the mouth and sweats really bad if she cries for a while. This always stresses me out, I hate it when we can't take her out and snuggle her when she is upset. Too often, we are on a timeline but she doesn't and I wish we could be on her schedule all the time. Unfortunately, that is not possible.
She is starting to grab this more meaningfully now, on 10/12 she was touching all parts of my face while we were having our "chat."
Every time I feed her, she will suddenly be done and be half asleep. She will rest her head right on my boob. Must be comfy! She is like jello after she is done eating and is always so snuggling when she is done.
Before she starts eating, she pants, and goes in for a BIG "bite."She grabs my shirt and is so wiggly! She gets more and more wiggly all the time! I love nursing, there is such a special bond that is created. Plus, I have a built in excuse to get some time with her!
Kind of random and in no order....I just want to make sure I write about all the things I can remember.

7 Weeks:

 There is that eye...refusing to go to sleep! 

 A picture Greg sent me before he took her to Angie's house. I ask him to send me a picture. I love to get a fresh picture of her when I am away. When I pump, I watch videos, look at pictures, and think about my little family. I still cry when I leave her and can't wait to pick her up. Greg is interviewing for promotions. Once he gets one, I will be able to stay home with her full time! He has worked really hard and there are some really neat positions opening up. I am very confident he will get a position within the next 6 months. Can't wait!

 Tummy time! She doesn't object to it but she doesn't really embrace it either. She mainly sucks on her fist. Yum!

 Her "tent." She loves this! One of the best $35 bucks we ever spent! She smiles, looks around, and is so entertained by this toy.

Trey's sweetheart, Molly, watched her a few days while she was here to visit. She was so cute with her! We appreciated it so much! These last two pictures were ones that she took, such adorable pictures! thanks Molly!

1 comment:

  1. She is so cute! I'm pretty particular too, so I mean it ;) I'm glad that after a rough patch you're settling in. It sounds like you had a lot of support, and I'm sure when you hit new milestones and feel like screaming in a closet again, family and friends will be there =) I've been a mom 4 years and still find myself needing a good scream or cry some nights!

    PS - I think you look GREAT.