Oooo...what kind of bling do we have up here.
I just can't decide between blue and pink....
Greg and I made it a goal to get out and share some love with Christmas treats this year, we hope to make it a habit. Here was our sugar cookie and truffles for the year! I LOVED doing the sugar cookies, they were so fun and I think they turned out pretty cute.
We had a little treat and stopped by the eye doctor on the way home. (Below)
One of her friends, Logan, got to come over for two days and spent the night in between the two days. He had a little brother, Calvin, born on the evening of the first night. We got a call at about 7:00 am from his dad asking if they could drop him off. We were thrilled to have him! He is such a good little boy and Tess really enjoys him. They get along and seem to have fun together. We had a lot of fun, we went to the park twice, they played, made hand prints, bubbles, glow sticks, visited the fire station, went to a live nativity, went shopping, and had some "picnics" in the living room since we only have one high chair.
Live Nativity. It was amazing!!! So impressive, so moving, and the kids really loved it. The wait before the show was not a big hit, but as soon as it started....they watched intently. Especially Logan, who is a little older then Tess. She was still her typically wiggly girl but she never tried to run around like she normally does.
Awkward picture in front of some of the 100+ nativities set up and come from around the world. So neat! They had this to browse, along with live harp music after seeing the nativity.
Greg got some good snuggles, Tess woke Logan up from his nap and Greg was trying to help the poor kid get some more sleep!
Greg informed me that I am not supposed to take pictures in the chapel...opps! But since the damage was done, is it bad if I keep them? Tess is little miss social at church. She stresses me out!!!!! We are starting to see a glimmer of her being entertained for a few minutes by the dozens of things we have tried but she still really wants to run around and say hello and check people out. She has a few people that always are excited to see her. Before sacrament started, these little girls wanted to say hello to Miss Tess. This is pretty typical, I had to get a picture. Then, Sister Atkinson is always equally excited to greet Tess. (Below.)
Tess with Jamison Jones. (Kyrsten and Seth's son.) He was so friendly to her! I would say, she met her match as far as friendly goes! I was so shocked that she didn't reciprocate and be herself. She was with the adults, but not with this cute little boy. I am not sure if it's because she never really got a nap or she didn't know what to do with a kid that liked to be friendly with her.
Today, while we were at the store shopping. Tess ran up to each kid she saw and said hello as she waved. And most kids she said it several ways. Then, she started to jabber and laugh. Ha! She must see us do that, talk and then laugh all the time because she just acted like she was having a good ol' conversation and then chuckled. Probably fully expecting them to chuckle along with her. She was especially persistent with a little handicapped girl. The girl couldn't talk but Tess was so nice to her, I was so glad...she was a cute little girl.
I have really enjoyed Tess lately. I mean to say that the joy has gotten noticeably deeper. I haven't put some of these feelings down, because I don't want them to define what I write about...or take away from the things I do write about. There has never been a moment when I didn't adore her or feel like I might burst because I find her to be the cutest and most wonderful little human. But, I think the affectionately called "baby blues" really affected my perception of myself and my role as a mother for longer then I would have liked. For a long time I felt completely overwhelmed by...well, everything. I felt as if every task completed were done as I move through quick sand. So, many things were just left undone. No energy, difficulty sleeping, not enjoying things I normally would, anger, etc really started to define how I felt about life and myself. I couldn't remember the last time I felt like myself...somebody with energy and a love for life. I felt trapped and it felt like this was my new life with no way to feel better again. I am thankful for a loving, patient husband and a spunky little girl to keep me afloat. Along with them I am grateful for good friends and family who also provided me with love and support even while most of them had no idea I was having a hard time.
When I became pregnant with this little boy, it got much, much worse. I don't know if it was the hormones again or the fact that I already felt the way I did and an extra long-extra bad morning sickness started to define my days. It was so much worse with this little boy that this too, seem to overcome me and amplified it 100 times over. This turned out to be an enormous blessing by pushing me to, in a way, look in a mirror and say, "Okay, I need to fix this and stop putting up with it. I can't keep feeling like this with another child on the way, I need to figure out how to get better."
I have taken steps in order to do that, I don't know why I waited so long. I can finally say that I feel like myself again, and I feel it creeping up when I don't make things that are important a priority. This includes among other things, prayer and scripture study. I get more motivation, energy, and strength from this then anything else. If I do these, I am better about the food I put in my body, better about sleeping when I need to (even if I feel guilty about napping too much), seek out advice from those I trust, keep the home closer to as clean as I want it to be, and many other things I could list. I can see the Lord's hand in my life. I know He cares about my role as a mom, He wants me to be successful and wants me to be happy. Simply said, I know now that I can't do this without Him and must do it His way. I feel as if I can relate more then I ever could to Nephi when he includes in 1 Nephi 17:13-14, "...ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led....ye shall know that I, the Lord, am God; and that I, the Lord, did deliver you from destruction...."
I have always valued, enjoyed, and known that seeking Him was important and life changing. But I have never felt so helpless, so out of control, and then felt so deeply the calm He has placed on my stormy heart as I have made a more profound effort to ask, seek, and knock. And there is still much to do in this effort. I wish I had a more eloquent way of portraying my thoughts, but I hope someday my kids will read it and be able to feel what I am thinking. I hope they will know and most importantly feel, that there truly is a Father, a Heavenly Father who loves them and is ever mindful of them. And because of that, I hope they will know and feel that He sent His Son to help them return to Him and enjoy the same happiness that He enjoys. Christ isn't just there to wipe away our sins, He is there to buoy us up, strengthen us, and help us overcome any difficulties we encounter in this life.